psychedelics - Project Chronic

Recreation is Therapeutic

Miyabe — Thu, 07 Dec 2023 01:02:46 +0000

**DISCLAIMER** I’ve written these as if we’re hanging out just having a conversation. It is my opinion based on my experience as a scientist and as a part of our commuity.The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained on this website are for informational purposes only. No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

I am not a medical professional and so I have no place giving medical advice. I am an expert on the molecular interactions of cannabinoids and their targets in the brain/body; I make theoretical extrapolations into my own life/cannabis/psychedelics use all the time, but have no formal training in physiology or general pathology outside of molecular mechanism.

I have always believed that there is a huge therapeutic value, specifically for neurodivergent adults, in recreation – so much so that my first non-profit endeavor was building opportunities for recreational music for higher support needs neurodivergent adults.

Eight years ago I attended a small acoustic concert in a living room in Larry Bird’s old house in Chestnut Hill, MA (I remember wondering why there were all these pictures of a huge, tall white guy in this Indian family’s home). Laine had been teaching violin to an extremely talented young autistic musician and two of his friends, one who played guitar, and one who played rhythm tambourine and this was their debut set together. Two other musicians with disabilities opened the show with piano and guitar. The room was filled with energy and by the time Laine’s trio took the stage, it was clearly a very successful party.

The audience was made up entirely of neurodivergent friends and family. The freedom and openness of behaviors was something I’ve never experienced. I found myself stimming and feeling more comfortable, more myself than I ever had in any public setting. Seeing the trio perform for their friends was engaging; the joy in the room was physically tangible. I had never been so aware of my own emotions in a space.

Laine and I played a small classical music set to close the concert and then a potluck dinner was served. As the night wore on, more and more unique conversations and experiences were had. These were my people. I had found community in a neurodivergent space like never before. We started playing music all together and that was the beginning of my first non-profit: The Music, Unity, and Social Expansion (MUSE) Foundation.

Until now I’ve had a really difficult time even thinking about MUSE, because it was in many ways mine and Laine’s first child. We built the non-profit from scratch by not paying ourselves and working multiple jobs to support its growth. We dedicated the first three years of our marriage to its success.

And I was devastated by the way it ended for me.

I used to think I’d write about it way down the line and air all the dirty laundry. I used to think I would feel empowered by telling my side, our side, especially because I have a keen memory especially in conflict. But in reality there’s nothing to tell besides what happened. The direction I had worked for years to build was negated, possibly because my disability, possibly because I was the only person of color on the staff, in favor of the strong opinions of two cis-hetero white men. Laine and I, and eventually another core administrative staff, were pushed to leave – all of us queer, neurodivergent adults.

I don’t think anyone needs to hear the dirty details, because sadly it’s such a common occurrence.

But now years later, I look back upon the time that I spent in that community as a huge step in my healing and a giant piece of my understanding of neurodivergent communities and the value of recreation for neurodivergent adults.

Neurodivergent adults need community support to navigate this complicated society.

We are often not fully independent and need additional types of support, especially emotional support. Feeling seen in a group of peers and knowing that you have a place among friends is critical to living a high quality of life. Humans were meant to be social and neurodivergent adults don’t get as many opportunities for that.

On top of that neurodivergent adults struggle to make and maintain friendships. Or we have atypical friendships that have blurred lines into other categories of relationship, like family. This is made worse by any atypical childhood family experiences. It can be difficult for us to understand our place in society which makes community support more important.

Recreational outlets, including situations that involve substance use for the purpose of recreation like cannabis or psychedelics or alcohol, create opportunities for neurodivergent adults to access different levels of social reward, decreased anxiety, and social bonding. Substances have been a part of our joined social experiences from humanities earliest times, just like music, or often in combination with music.

As I move into this next chapter with this new non-profit, I am feeling compelled to honor this piece of my history and push for the therapeutic value of recreational outlets.

The post Recreation is Therapeutic first appeared on Project Chronic.

The Boundless Unknown

Miyabe — Sat, 28 Oct 2023 02:35:21 +0000

I always knew I wanted to write a book, but it just never seemed to get enough momentum to make it to the finish line. I burn through my obsessions which often means they are bright, flashy, but not lengthy. I’ve made two other serious attempts at writing a book that never made it past the outline and first chapter.

It seems like it’s a theme for me that third time’s the charm.

This summer I had my first experience with dimethyltrypatmine (DMT) and, while I didn’t fully “break through,” it was life changing. It took weeks to process everything that I had been allowed to see. But I came away with a very well-defined purpose to share what I know and to create a space that uplifts others to do the same.

In the following months, I designed a completely new model for teaching science to neurodivergent adults, I wrote a book, I harvested my first ever outdoor photoperiod crop, and a I co-founded a cannabis reserach and advocacy non-profit. I feel driven by an undeniable purpose and it is absolutely exhilarating. I’m going to share some memories from this incredible and important time for me.

The post The Boundless Unknown first appeared on Project Chronic.

Of Molecules, Music, and Mysticism

Miyabe — Fri, 24 Feb 2023 01:46:33 +0000

Over the past 9 years of performing together, our genre of original music has been described as “fucked up folk”… It’s fitting since we are compelled to write music about subjects/emotions that we cannot express in any other way. Laine and I found our life together through music, and even started a non-profit together providing the scaffolding for a social music scene for neurodivergent adults. The therapeutic benefits of music and a social music scene (community) are undervalued and understudied interventions for mental health with real neurological, molecular mechanisms.

By far the most accessible written work on neuromusicology (the study of music in the brain) is Musicophilia by Oliver Sacks, so I’ll defer the more general findings. But I will say that after all the research I did on the effects of both molecules and music on the brain – from ancient to modern and from casual, amateur jam sessions to rigid, classical or more clinical therapeutic settings – I am certain that music acts in a complex multi-molecular mechanism that is not reproducible by any combination of molecules, natural or pharmaceutical.

"Music can pierce the heart directly; it needs no mediation [...] And there is, finally, a deep and mysterious paradox here, for while music makes one experience pain and grief more intensely, it brings solace and consolation at the same time."

- Oliver Sacks, Musicophilia

It is, however, undeniable that certain molecules enhance musical experience and vise versa, music enhances the molecules. It’s well-documented by the intimate relationships many musicians have with specific molecules that can be tools for connectivity to the artist’s creative identity. I have yet to step on stage without cannabis and I notice very distinct changes in the physical (rhythm, pitch, resonance, etc) and emotional tone of creating music.

Psychedelics take that expansion of emotional connection past what feels possible to describe. Synesthesia and beautiful visual accompaniments create a sense of connection to the divine, to the deepest part of what it means to be human, to creation for the sake of creation, and to the power of forgiveness in the process of healing. During our first experience with San Pedro, Laine and I let go of half of our physical belongings and celebrated our liberation by writing a song we named after our favorite ever-transformative stone, labradorite (here’s the first recording from that day).

I’ve been circling this concept of mysticism (which some call magic others call divine or godly, and still others call delusion or grandiosity) for years, because while I can feel the distinct difference in the classic serotonergics, my first experiences with mysticism were through cannabis as a teenager. Blazed up in AP bio, I had a mystical feeling learning about the enzyme in plants that takes carbon gas out of the air and creates solid carbon that is the basis of all life (RuBisCo); five years later, I started my research career with the enzyme soluble epoxide hydrolase and seven years later, I completed my PhD on the endocannabinoid-metabolizing enzymes

After my PhD I swore I’d never go back to school again, but I should know by now it’s impossible to set boundaries on the universe. I am currently a student in The River Course led by Dr. Joe Tafur, MD where I am sharing a once-in-a-lifetime experience of molecules, music, and mysticism with an entire community of psychedelic health professionals, activists, and scientists who want to expand our understanding of what it means to heal.

Dr. Joe Tafur is not only a doctor from UCSD and UCLA, but a trained Shipibo curandero and a spiritual leader at the Church of the Eagle and the Condor. He is teaching my classmates and me of the intangible, unquantifiable aspects of psychedelic healing that touch our souls, the missing piece of mental and physical health that Western medicine at best ignores, and at worst intentionally devalues. He is teaching us that healing is slow magic. And I feel the most connected to the magnitude and weight of this topic when he is singing to us.

I have a complicated relationship with religion and see myself as a spiritual wanderer, a bit lost and disconnected. But hearing these songs in the safety of this new community has awoken something deep within, something from perhaps even before this lifetime. The music takes me away from myself and I can start to see what tethers me and what sets me free.

The post Of Molecules, Music, and Mysticism first appeared on Project Chronic.

The Multi-Microdose Schedule

Miyabe — Sat, 04 Feb 2023 17:48:24 +0000

**DISCLAIMER** I’ve written these as if we’re hanging out just having a conversation. It is my opinion based on my experience as a scientist and as a part of our commuity. The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained on this website are for informational purposes only. No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Minimal doses of cannabis or psychedelics spread evenly 3X per day.

Purpose: To describe a dose schedule I have been using for years with cannabis, but only recently extrapolated to mushrooms that allows me to stay at a steady-state that is subtle, maximizes therapeutic benefit, and contributes minimally to tolerance building.

Background: In the pharmaceutical world, a steady-state is reached when the amount of drug in your body stays relatively constant all day. It is a standard dosing procedure used in many different types of medications, but especially mood-stabilizers, antidepressants, and anti-psychotics. It’s very common for prescription medications to be dosed multiple times per day to achieve this. I have found additional benefits from applying this theoretical knowledge to my life…

Protocol: Use your therapeutic minimum (the least amount of any substance you need to receive the main desired effect) 3X per day

EXAMPLE SCHEDULE (CANNABIS) –

- - 8:00AM – 3 hits of a 40/40/20 CBG/CBD/THC blend
  - 2:00PM – 2 hits of 40/40/20 ^^^
  - 8:00PM – 0.5-1g joint of 40/40/20***

*** I wind down with this 0.5-1g dose almost every day regardless of any schedule, but I do add in more THC for different situations (like socializing).

EXAMPLE SCHEDULE (MUSHROOMS) –

- - 8:00AM – 0.10 – 0.15g
  - 2:00PM – 0.10 – 0.15g
  - 8:00PM – 0.15 – 0.3g***

*** The reason I up this last one, because it helps overcome the increase in metabolic enzymes (monoamine oxidase) and feels fairly comparable to me by that point in the day.

NOTE – I rarely combine these two protocols and instead alternate them on a cycle as needed (on my mushroom days I do consume cannabis, but typically only at night as I’m winding down). A 7 day week for me could look like: Monday (cannabis), Tuesday (mushrooms), Wednesday (cannabis), Thursday (mushrooms), Friday (mushrooms or cannabis or nothing), Saturday (ad libitum/no schedule), Sunday (mushrooms or cannabis).

Discussion: I started experimenting with this protocol in late 2018, three whole years after I first introduced CBD into my medical cannabis routine and blasted everything I thought I knew about cannabis wide open. It took three years, because that’s how long it took me to finally feel comfortable understanding how CBD affects THC for me, and could feel confident moving forward without introducing too many other new variables.

The active molecules that make us feel things each have their own half-life, which is the amount of time it takes for half of the active molecules to be deactivated by our body. The longer the half-life, the longer the molecule will be actively circulating, the longer we will feel the effects.

The half-life of cannabis and mushrooms are both fairly low, meaning they fall below the amount needed to feel the effects after a few hours. Using low doses typically means the half-life is perceivably shorter, because you’re starting off at the threshold of feeling things to begin with.

I would never suggest that anyone try this without the consent and supervision of a medical professional (nurse, MD, DO, PsyD, etc) or therapist who can answer questions on a 1:1 basis. This giant gap in knowledge between scientists and public service workers who keep our society healthy and safe is a huge problem. And it’s a problem we are far too delayed in addressing and why I’m so passionate about sharing my information with everyone, including doctors, therapists, and, yes, even the police and politicians if they are open to learning about how these medicines can be powerful tools to help reduce harm in the community.

The post The Multi-Microdose Schedule first appeared on Project Chronic.

My LinkedIn Dilemma (passive and active “professional discrimination” in cannabis and psychedelics industries)

Miyabe — Fri, 03 Feb 2023 16:01:57 +0000

Let me start by saying: I have reflected upon all of my interactions on LinkedIn with the intention of absorbing the positivity while allowing the negativity to flow off my shoulders and have concluded that it is a very supportive community overall.

However it’s also true that LinkedIn has been the space where I’ve received the most push back specifically for my gender identity (I am somewhere between agender and genderfluid and prefer they/them pronouns). And when I talk about how that affects me professionally, this happens:

Please note that most of those 6 replies are awesome people in the space (Marc Eden, Megan Dobro, and fellow “cannenby” Bex Heller) defending me. The hater’s ONLY response was this:

Before I dive into why “unprofessional” is a term used to perpetuate racist, sexist, ableist, and homophobic/transphobic cultural values in society, I’ve got a question. Did you notice he only responded to the other white man and not the woman or non binary person? If you didn’t notice it, no biggie, but it would help us underrepresented minorities to bring more awareness to “attention as a form of respect and power.” I guess from this perspective I should be grateful he used some of his valuable time to send me his opinion at all, haha!

So moving on, the most glaring evidence of professionalism being weaponized against a community is in the case of African American culture. Why are dreadlocks unprofessional and sometimes even included in school dress codes for children? Why is one body type the norm for beauty which affects professional development (if you’re naiive enough to believe there isn’t a business reward for physical attractiveness, then you are likely beautiful, be grateful for it). Additionally certain accents or dialects are automatically associated with a less professional image. I am hardly an expert on this, but it’s clear that dress codes are more often enforced against people of color (POC), specifically women or assigned-female at birth (AFAB) POC…

…which brings us to sexism. Misogyny is still at the core of many upper-tier cultures in business. And as I learned during my time as CSO of a startup, everything is business. Did you know the phrase “open the kimono” is a business phrase for “sharing backend details with each other”? And women are expected to laugh pleasantly at such a clever turn of phrase. Just as with racial/cultural differences in identity, women have more stringent standards for “professional identity” that range from the clothes they wear to the way they speak or their face looks. If you want to learn more, google what’s going on in the US political system re: gender-specific dress codes.

This rigid image of “professional” can be unsustainable for some people, especially when we consider neurodivergence. Sensory-friendly spaces, stimming, and other accommodations around attention are rarely present in the professional world. Any display of needing accommodation is generally viewed as a “net negative” for productivity. The norm is to mask until you’re pushed to a mental breakdown that almost kills you.

And now we finally arrive at the main subject: how is talking about my gender-identity unprofessional? Because it breaks that very same rigid image of professionalism.There is a reason that it’s upheld by the lucky few who hoard most of our resources (and those who live in excess and want to keep it that way). Because when we break that professional image, we are showing that we are not subservient to them or their opinions. We are visibly flaunting that we actively choose to live our lives outside of their acceptance. And if we can do that without punishment, then what’s stopping everyone else?

And for those of you who think that I should grow a thicker skin, you are so right. I have aspirations to keep sharing and to keep building this community. I need a thicker skin, and I’m working on it. But it’s also worth thinking about how professional criticism for identity-related features is extremely emotional and for many of us ties us back to generational and community trauma.

I am aware that being open about my sexuality and gender-identity means some people will hate me so much they are moved to violence. The most deadly night of violence against the LGBTQ community was in Miami in 2016, ending 49 innocent lives only 6 years ago. Just last November 2022, there was a hate crime in Colorado stealing the futures of 5 innocent people and their friends and family. The current data shows these events are increasing.

So yes, I need a thicker skin. But it’s also reasonable for these comments to trigger me; I am scared for my life, for my wife’s life. I’m scared, because there’s this nasty historical pattern where those who speak out too loudly against the status quo will eventually get murdered for it.

I am privileged to have a million unique reasons that allows me to get past this fear (I’ve had a near-death experience that was so statistically unlikely that it makes me truly believe in miracles). And this is also why I must keep speaking out for the vast majority of people like me who can’t.

So here is how I’m going to respond from now on

UPDATE – And here is his response:

via GIPHY

The post My LinkedIn Dilemma (passive and active “professional discrimination” in cannabis and psychedelics industries) first appeared on Project Chronic.

Reclaiming my spirituality through psychedelic exploration

Miyabe — Mon, 30 Jan 2023 18:47:59 +0000

My Grandma Kinu called us “lazy Buddhists” – and compared to the stereotypical, minimalist, sober, quiet, Westernized image of a bald-headed Buddhist monk, we are indeed very laid back. She raised me on a random hodgepodge of Jodo Shinshu (Shin/Pure Land) Buddhism and Hawaiian polytheism/animism. Her wisdom was rattled off here and there on a situation-by-situation basis as the need arose.

The summers I spent with my Grandma Kinu in Hawaii, sleeping on the floor of her best friend’s kitchen pantry, are the most formative memories I have with nature. They are the core of my belief in the living, spiritual presence of the earth. She stressed our relationship with the ocean, the ocean’s relationship with the island, and the island’s relationship with us as infinite, as deeper than can be described in words. She told me stories of the wrath of the island gods and taught me to honor and respect the earth as a living being, as the mother of all life.

Back in California we attended Gardena Buddhist Church which calls itself “a uniquely American Buddhism of Japanese origin” that has “blended American culture and customs into” traditionally Buddhist services. I learned of the golden chain of love, of accepting suffering through release, of harnessing self-reflection, of the power of listening to yourself and others. In this type of Buddhism, we do not try to achieve nirvana, our entire goal is to live with the most faith in the Amita Buddha’s teachings to be reborn in the Pure Land. Interestingly now as an adult, it reminds me of many monotheistic religions like Christianity, Judaism, and Islam; the reward for faith and service is a divine afterlife…

I don’t remember a lot from my childhood, but I know I struggled with understanding some pretty basic social constructs. Starting in middle school, I began calling myself an atheist, because I didn’t understand what that meant. A friend’s mom called me an atheist at a funeral for another friend’s father, and it stuck.

“This must be so hard for you as an atheist,” she said, “since you don’t believe in God or Heaven.” I was crying profusely – really ugly, sobbing crying – because my friend was sad and her father had been kind to me. I knew I didn’t believe in her idea of God, so I accepted that she must know more than me. I must be an atheist.

It wasn’t until high school that I learned the term agnostic, and since I definitely believed in a higher power, I accepted that new label. I had no idea that being Buddhist could even be a label that was used in place of “Christian,” “atheist,” or “agnostic” because it wasn’t explained exactly to me that way. I have a more difficult time generalizing knowledge than most people would think. Not that it really matters, because I am not truly all Buddhist.

It took me until well into my mid-twenties during my PhD to reflect upon labeling my spirituality outside of “I don’t know what I am, but I certainly have strong feelings about it.” I began seeking out religious experiences like fasting for Ramadan, attending iftar, practicing lent, observing the differences in various Christian sub-types, learning about the Hindu Vedas, celebrating Rosh Hashanah, practicing Shabbat, and closing with Havdalah. Every one made me feel closer to my own answer and I felt the common thread of love and community twist its way into the center of my belief in the divine.

But I could not feel fully supported in any of these major religions, because I am outside their range of acceptable behavior – in lifestyle, sexuality, gender identity. I also have many tattoos and consider them a central piece of my identity and relationship to my body. Plus the strongest emotional bond to my spirituality is from the time I spent with my Grandma Kinu in Hawaii and about my relationship to nature. I believe everything on earth has a divine connection.

Through deep self-reflection with the assistance of psychedelics and cannabis, I’ve realized that I’m searching for community and belonging. And just as lysergic acid amide (LSA) and cannabis helped me accept my gender identity between binaries, psilocybe mushrooms and cannabis helped me connect to my spiritual identity between categories.

My spirituality is undefined, but not unimportant. And through the exploration of psychedelics and cannabis, I will continue to grow my community and find belonging.

All of my research has been about the scientific evaluation of the therapeutic effects for mental and physical health, which are very real and exist, but neglected to take into account the spiritual and emotional component of that same healing. Now I want to bring the context of pharmaceutical biochemistry into my relationship with these living, giving beings as sacred medicines.

Grandma Kinu and I at the Gardena Buddhist Church Obon Festival (I think it’s the largest Obon in the US).

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