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My first experience with LSA (the active ingredient in Ololuiqui) was 3 years ago today… It was the moment I knew I had to end my denial and come out as non-binary. It was the moment I first felt grateful for my entire self, which has allowed me to work towards expressing my entire self.
Even 3 years later, I don’t have the right words to describe the experience, but I do have my journal reflections from that day:
It’s weird to see a journal entry where I’m still calling Laine “Elaine,” but this trip was the beginning of that transformation. Both Laine and I have very complicated relationships with our names – for those of you who don’t yet know, Miyabe is my family name. I stopped going by my legal first name 20 years ago, but kept it legally because… it’s complicated.
That story is for another post, so back to this. I chose to color in the entire page in pastels to represent the sheer emotional intensity of the experience.
The title “LSA – HBMG” is for Heavenly Blue Morning Glory. “CWE” stands for cold water extract… I have yet to completely perfect what I’ve been doing, but I think I should have my own method finalized soon. My focus is on purity and preventing oxidation and/or other degradative transformations. It seems like there are a lot of them and particularly noxious stomach-bug like side effects from the byproducts.
I love that it ends like “Absolutely worth repeating,” because it marks the beginning of a different chapter in my spiritual transformation.
Here’s what I thought the next day: